'What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?
Or what fond beggar, but to touch the crown,
Would with the sceptre straight be strucken down?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Who writes fortune cookies?
I got one that said "Soon a short stranger will enter your life." Who comes up with these things? A SHORT stranger? Why not a fat stranger or a tall stranger and a bald stranger? And how soon? And WHY? Why would I want or need a SHORT STRANGER (SS) in my life? What is this SS going to be doing in my life? Is he or she always going to be a stranger or will they only be a stranger only for a little while? The thing about fortune cookies is that they are supposed to be vague right, but this one isn't exactly following the rules, is it. It didn't say 'Soon a stranger will enter your life', which would not make me question it at all. A stranger could be a person you meet at the store or gas station. But here's the thing, they said a SHORT stranger, which makes it a bit more detailed. Anyway, it just cracked me up. And when I say it cracked me up, I'm not exactly sure if I mean it cracked me up as in "made me laugh' or it cracked me up as in "made me crazy." Maybe a little bit of both.
Now how's this for crazy...
Every time I think of short people I think of the Randy Newman song that goes:
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live
They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
Well, I dont want no short people
Dont want no short people
Dont want no short people`round here
Short people are just the same
As you and i(a fool such as I)
All men are
the day they die (its a wonderful world)
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love
They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
Theyre gonna get you every time
Well, I dont want no short people
Dont want no short people
Dont want no short people round here
If you want to hear the song for yourself, listen to track number 108 on my playlist below.
Now how's this for crazy...
Every time I think of short people I think of the Randy Newman song that goes:
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live
They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
Well, I dont want no short people
Dont want no short people
Dont want no short people`round here
Short people are just the same
As you and i(a fool such as I)
All men are
the day they die (its a wonderful world)
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love
They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
Theyre gonna get you every time
Well, I dont want no short people
Dont want no short people
Dont want no short people round here
If you want to hear the song for yourself, listen to track number 108 on my playlist below.
Our very own Leprechaun...
This is Mikey. Today he's a leprechaun. You should see him on national pirates day in September. He's not quite normal, but he's dang funny. And he breaks up the monotony of the day. 
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday Night
A friend from work told me last week that she was going to be in a play and asked if I'd want to come. Of course I told her yes! She has never done anything like this before and she was VERY nervous. The play was done for Black History month and it was about Phillis Wheatlely. It was at the Rose Wagner Theatre. Debbie goes to a local church and I think that the people that were in the play were all from her church. No professionals, but you would never know it. Deb has an AMAZING voice and she did the best job! Seriously, you'd never know that she hadn't acted before. In fact all of them did a fantastic job. The music was devine and it was just a nice night all together.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A reminder of what being a donor can do...
One of my cousins recently passed away due to some complications from surgery. She was only 34 years old. Her sister just posted this letter that her family got from Life Center Northwest about the organs that were donated as result of Nicia's death. While her death is very sad and shocking, reading the letter below reminds me of how even at such a sad time, God can bless us by turning a bad situation into something good.
The Letter to Nicia's parents, husband and family:
We are so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Nicia. her"gift of life" to others has had an enormous impact on so many people, and we acknowledge and thank you for assisting us in making organ donation happen. Your wife's gift of life to others has impacted not just the lives of the recipient, but their families and friends as well. I would like to share some information about those recipients. Nicia's right kidney was transplanted into a 19 year old woman from Washington. She is looking forward to going back to school to study graphic design and computers. She is also looking forward to getting back to work as an associate at a large craft outlet. Her left kidney and pancreas were transplanted into a 41 year old man from Alaska. He is unmarried and disabled due to diabetes. His goals are to be independent and live on his own. He is very grateful for the freedom this transplant will bring him. Nicia's liver was split and transplanted into two recipient: the first is a 50 year old woman from Washington. She is married with 2 children. She is retired and looking forward to returning home. The second recipient is a 1 year old boy from Montana. The toddler lives with his parents. They are looking forward to their son having the opportunity to grow up and enjoy everyday "toddler" activities. Both of Nicia's lungs were transplanted into a 25 year old woman from Washington. She is single and is looking froward to returning to work in the computer software industry. She is very grateful for the opportunity for an extended "normal" life. Nicia's heart was transplanted into a 35 year old married man from Washington. He is interested in computers and karaoke. He would like to return to full time employment as a computer tech once he has recovered from surgery. This recipient and his family are very honored for this chance. Stories of others good fortune will not take away the loss you feel, but we hope that it will be of some consolation to know that even after Nicia's death, she was able to help others. It was such an honor for our staff and the hospital staff to spend time with your family at the hospital. On behalf of these recipients, their families and all those involved in organ donation and transplantation, thank you again.
The Letter to Nicia's parents, husband and family:
We are so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Nicia. her"gift of life" to others has had an enormous impact on so many people, and we acknowledge and thank you for assisting us in making organ donation happen. Your wife's gift of life to others has impacted not just the lives of the recipient, but their families and friends as well. I would like to share some information about those recipients. Nicia's right kidney was transplanted into a 19 year old woman from Washington. She is looking forward to going back to school to study graphic design and computers. She is also looking forward to getting back to work as an associate at a large craft outlet. Her left kidney and pancreas were transplanted into a 41 year old man from Alaska. He is unmarried and disabled due to diabetes. His goals are to be independent and live on his own. He is very grateful for the freedom this transplant will bring him. Nicia's liver was split and transplanted into two recipient: the first is a 50 year old woman from Washington. She is married with 2 children. She is retired and looking forward to returning home. The second recipient is a 1 year old boy from Montana. The toddler lives with his parents. They are looking forward to their son having the opportunity to grow up and enjoy everyday "toddler" activities. Both of Nicia's lungs were transplanted into a 25 year old woman from Washington. She is single and is looking froward to returning to work in the computer software industry. She is very grateful for the opportunity for an extended "normal" life. Nicia's heart was transplanted into a 35 year old married man from Washington. He is interested in computers and karaoke. He would like to return to full time employment as a computer tech once he has recovered from surgery. This recipient and his family are very honored for this chance. Stories of others good fortune will not take away the loss you feel, but we hope that it will be of some consolation to know that even after Nicia's death, she was able to help others. It was such an honor for our staff and the hospital staff to spend time with your family at the hospital. On behalf of these recipients, their families and all those involved in organ donation and transplantation, thank you again.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
It was a dark and stormy night...
Truely, it is a dark and stormy night tonight and everytime I think of that phrase I immediately think of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest. If you are ever bored and want a laugh, I am telling you that you need to check this out. The contest is pretty simple. People write the opening sentence to the "worst of all possible novels." The contest was started by a guy named Professor Scott Rice, who was supposed to write a paper on a Victorian novelist for some reason. Anyway, he chose a guy named Edward George Bulwer-Lytton and after reading some of his stuff he ended up starting the contest.
Now you might think that you don't know who this guy is, but I am positive that even though you might not know his name, you know his work. Some of the phrases he's coined are "the pen is mightier than the sword," "the great unwashed," and "the almighty dollar," not to mention, "It was a dark and stormy night."
Here is the entire first paragraph of his book "Paul Clifford":
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, (1830)
Here are some of the past winners:
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.
--Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York (1986 Winner)
****
Professor Frobisher couldn't believe he had missed seeing it for so long--it was, after all, right there under his nose--but in all his years of research into the intricate and mysterious ways of the universe, he had never noticed that the freckles on his upper lip, just below and to the left of the nostril, partially hidden until now by a hairy mole he had just removed a week before, exactly matched the pattern of the stars in the Pleides, down to the angry red zit that had just popped up where he and his colleagues had only today discovered an exploding nova.
--Ray C. Gainey, Indianapolis, Indiana (1989 Winner)
****
Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.
--Linda Vernon, Newark, California (1990 Winner)
****
Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for the British, and when he saw the young woman believed to be the spy's girlfriend in an Italian restaurant he said to the waiter, "Hold the spumoni--I'm going to follow the chick an' catch a Tory."
--John L. Ashman, Houston, Texas (1995 Winner)
****
Joanne watched her fellow passengers - a wizened man reading about alchemy; an oversized bearded man-child; a haunted, bespectacled young man with a scar; and a gaggle of private school children who chatted ceaselessly about Latin and flying around the hockey pitch and the two-faced teacher who they thought was a witch - there was a story here, she decided.
Tim EllisHaslemere, U.K. 2008
****
I'm convinced that the Doc is dealing drugs to most of the mining crew because they either can't stay awake, constantly sneeze, grin like maniacs, or won't look you straight in the eye (not to mention behaving like a moron) and they wonder why a dwarf gets grumpy!
Neil ProwdCharnwood, ACT, Australia 2008
Those are just a few of the selections that you can pass your time reading and enjoying. Check it out sometime: www.bulwer-lytton.com
Now you might think that you don't know who this guy is, but I am positive that even though you might not know his name, you know his work. Some of the phrases he's coined are "the pen is mightier than the sword," "the great unwashed," and "the almighty dollar," not to mention, "It was a dark and stormy night."
Here is the entire first paragraph of his book "Paul Clifford":
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, (1830)
Here are some of the past winners:
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.
--Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York (1986 Winner)
****
Professor Frobisher couldn't believe he had missed seeing it for so long--it was, after all, right there under his nose--but in all his years of research into the intricate and mysterious ways of the universe, he had never noticed that the freckles on his upper lip, just below and to the left of the nostril, partially hidden until now by a hairy mole he had just removed a week before, exactly matched the pattern of the stars in the Pleides, down to the angry red zit that had just popped up where he and his colleagues had only today discovered an exploding nova.
--Ray C. Gainey, Indianapolis, Indiana (1989 Winner)
****
Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.
--Linda Vernon, Newark, California (1990 Winner)
****
Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for the British, and when he saw the young woman believed to be the spy's girlfriend in an Italian restaurant he said to the waiter, "Hold the spumoni--I'm going to follow the chick an' catch a Tory."
--John L. Ashman, Houston, Texas (1995 Winner)
****
Joanne watched her fellow passengers - a wizened man reading about alchemy; an oversized bearded man-child; a haunted, bespectacled young man with a scar; and a gaggle of private school children who chatted ceaselessly about Latin and flying around the hockey pitch and the two-faced teacher who they thought was a witch - there was a story here, she decided.
Tim EllisHaslemere, U.K. 2008
****
I'm convinced that the Doc is dealing drugs to most of the mining crew because they either can't stay awake, constantly sneeze, grin like maniacs, or won't look you straight in the eye (not to mention behaving like a moron) and they wonder why a dwarf gets grumpy!
Neil ProwdCharnwood, ACT, Australia 2008
Those are just a few of the selections that you can pass your time reading and enjoying. Check it out sometime: www.bulwer-lytton.com
Monday, March 2, 2009
Who brings home the big bucks??
I'll tell you who.. Dentists! Seriously, if you want to make some money, that is the job for you. I've been helping mine pay for his kids to go to college this year! Let me tell you, they are getting a darn good education thanks to me and my rapidly dwindling savings account! Nice of me, huh.
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